Swallowing pride

5 Aug

I am not writing this to ask you to be kind to me; I am writing this story to simply tell the truth about this strange spiritual journey that I am currently on. Like many people I grew up in a culture of bullshit self sufficiency where everyone simply looks after themselves. I say bullshit because I found it to be a very lonely, isolated and controlled way of living.

This journey that I am on has forced me to swallow my pride (several times) and accept financial help from others.

Yesterday, as I walked back to work a young man who I knew stopped me and asked me if I could spare him a few dollars for lunch?” I looked at him and simply said “I’m sorry but I only have $3 in my wallet.” He said he understood but when I looked at him I could see clearly that he was very hungry and so I asked him “Are you hungry?” And he said that indeed he was.

Because other people have been so incredibly generous towards me I knew that it would be completely and utterly wrong to walk away and to leave him hungry and empty handed so I gave him my three dollars. And the truth of it is, I went into the studio, I closed the door and I cried and I prayed because that $3 was pretty much all that I had left in my entire life. I felt right and at peace inside, but I also felt so utterly vulnerable and afraid.

You know later that night I received a message from another friend offering to help me out of the kindness of her heart. This world has so many problems and we are so tempted to look to our politicians, our institutions and our churches to solve them but there is so little they can do. What problems in this world would remain if we just looked after our neighbors?

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2 Responses to “Swallowing pride”

  1. Mary C. Gardner August 6, 2009 at 8:06 am #

    This is a beautiful story.
    That is Karma or Quantum physics (or whatever) illustrated. The act of giving opens you up to receive – whether it is money, kindness, or time.

    Your blog should be a documentary film – there are so many interesting angles to it.

    • geofftalbot August 6, 2009 at 10:04 am #

      Thanks Mary… One of the things I want to do with the film is a LIVE making of DVD.

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