I am becoming morbidly averse to the frequency with which the word “conversation” is being used.
Yesterday somewhere in South Central, Los Angeles I am sure a young teenager was probably sent to the principles office for a “conversation” after bringing a firearm to school.
The trouble with “conversation” is that it is so overused, that the word is now broken and it needs to go away for a while before coming back. Conversation now means an overtly inane and self-important discussion where all parties pretend to have no agenda, it has now become a discussion without conflict or absolutes.
Conversation originally designed to enhance relationships is fast becoming a vehicle (method) for avoiding emotional conflict and is hence becoming detrimental. Are we pretending to listen and engage and then patting ourselves on the back for doing so?
Let’s get together for an argument instead.
Sometimes life seems like a series of car crashes, constant arguments and disappointments. The collisions are actually good for us; conflict breaks us and sharpens us all at the same time.
Every time I bang into someone with a different argument, agenda or point of view, I am bought again to that simple place of humility and understanding… life is not “just” about me. I need these collisions, this conflict because without it I become the king of my own little world… and if I am honest… I am not really fit to be king.
This isn’t an individual journey, I was reminded again of this as I had brunch with two lovely friends (Kelvin & Kerry both in the film industry) today, each have skills and talents that I simply do not possess. The way they look at the world and the business of making films is different to mine, and I am lost without their point of view.
Understanding is a collaborative thing and no one person has all the answers.
There are several ways of looking at the same thing and this is what we call perspective. Different people view the same object, scenario or situation differently, they look at it through their own lens. If five different artists were to paint my portrait, each portrait would be completely different and yet each of them would look like me…
Arguments happen when two people see things from only one perspective (theirs) and they are convinced that the way they see it is the way it actually is. The great thing about being in a team is that you get to combine these different perspectives; it’s like building a 3 dimensional model… you get a much more rounded view of what you are actually creating. The more perspectives you have the richer the creation.
As a filmmaker I wish to investigate other peoples perspectives, the diversity is what makes life beautiful.